Sentimental Collectors

Yesterday, I was thinking about "collectors." I'm not talking about the extreme hoarding cases you may have recently seen on television. I'm referring more to the people who have a few boxes and files of sentimental old stuff that they've hung onto over the years.

People hang onto to old stuff for a lot of reasons. Sometimes it's because they believe the objects may be useful "one day." Other times, they have guilt over throwing away something that still has a little bit of life left in it (even if the person hanging onto the thing may NEVER be the one to squeeze out that last bit of life). Still others keep old unwanted gifts simply because they feel too guilty to get rid of them.


Then there are the folks that I lovingly call the "sentimental collectors." Many of my clients have boxes, chests, and drawers full of items that they keep because of the fond memories the items evoke. I totally relate to these folks because I have my own boxes of old treasures. There's the box containing the 1950's Barbie doll with the totally cool outfits that my grandmother sewed and crocheted for her. There's the high school trophies and yearbooks. Why, just last week I pulled out my senior yearbook to reminisce with an school chum I've reconnected with.

And yesterday I was reminded of my personal favorite keepsake treasures: the cards my father has given me over the years. Every Valentine's day that I can recall, I've received a card from my father, and I've kept them all. Just yesterday he emailed me a card that I printed out and have sitting on my desk. You see, I'm a 'daddy's girl' in a big way.

Turns out, dad's a sentimental collector too. I didn't realize this until I recently visited my parents in their newly renovated home. Dad, recently retired, now has his art studio in the finished attic of their house which sits right on the Cartecay river in north Georgia. While showing me around his new sanctuary, I noticed one corner wall that was covered in old cards and pictures I'd given him over the years. I had no idea that he had saved all that stuff. And now it had earned a special spot in his favorite hangout. My heart swells just thinking about it.

So, even though I'm a pretty prolific purger by nature, I understand that some stuff is just too special, too sweet, to throw away. But some people go too far in that direction. They feel that, just because the item once belonged to a loved one, it's worth keeping. The thing to remember is that many of items that people leave behind may have meant NOTHING to the previous owner. Perhaps they just hadn't gotten around to donating or throwing the darn thing away.

Don't save stuff just because it once sat in the dusty basement of a person you cared about. Save it because of the personal, warm memories you have of the item. Make sure it's earned the right to take up valuable space in your world.

Ozzy Reluctantly Unloads

The Telegraph recently reported that former Black Sabbath singer, Ozzy Osbourne, and his wife Sharon are ready to downsize. Now that their children have left the nest, the couple is ready to offload art, furniture, and collectibles from their three homes in Malibu, Beverly Hills, and Buckinghamshire.

"It's time to unload," said Mrs. Osbourne. "We just have an overabundance of possessions that we do not need."

That's music to my ears, Sharon!

The Osbournes' auction has taken two years to organize and will be shown at the O2 arena in London on November 5th. It is expected to bring in as much as a million dollars with proceeds benefiting the Sharon Osbourne Colon Cancer Foundation.

The couple is downsizing and moving to a new home, she said, adding that whittling down their possessions has been "one of the most refreshing things I've done."

Ozzy, however, was less enthusiastic about the sale. "I don't know why we are selling everything as I want it all. Sharon tells me that we have to, otherwise our house will...explode."

"Ozzy gets very attached to things," his wife explained. "He doesn't like change at all."

This scenario may sound familiar to some of you on two fronts:

1. Though you probably don't own multiple homes spread out across the globe, you may have accumulated so much stuff in your home that it feels as though the dwelling may burst.

2. If you don't live alone, you may have a very different level of attachment to your "stuff" than other people you share your house with.

This differing level of attachment coupled with a resistance to change can create some real challenges with the organizing process. Notice that, while Sharon is feeling the wonderful, cathartic freedom that most people get from purging, Ozzy is having a tougher time letting go.

I've had clients tell me that it's a good thing I take the recycling away after I leave because, otherwise, their partner would go "dumpster diving" to retrieve items out of the trash or recycling bags.

If you are a natural purger, recognize that others in the house may need some gentle coaxing to help them to let go. You can assist with the process by asking your sentimental collectors these questions:

• When did you last use or wear this?
• Is it broken?
• Do you "love" it or just "like" it?
• Can we get another one later if we need it again?
• What is the worst thing that will happen if we part with this?
• Would this item be better off in the hands of someone who needs it and will use it more than we do?
• Is it worth the space it takes up and the trouble it takes to maintain or clean it?
  

These types of questions help the "accumulators" see that it's okay to let go and helps them to qualify what has earned the right to stay. Be warned, if you force accumulators to get rid of everything just for the sake of purging, they will probably rebel by accumulating even more over time. By taking the time to get their buy-in, you can reduce pack rat tendencies and increase their urge to purge.